tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-145815042024-03-19T02:12:56.714-07:00EDGENTERTAINMENTNY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-39503292569236189222010-06-03T10:01:00.000-07:002010-06-03T10:03:15.756-07:00It's Today One Year Ago My Mom Died.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu9P7pIvU9tl3J_ju09wITUluTUq05A_ZMyDeweWUSZsLYajStVuYes6W-Yarq00odEN8d0A5hDICkYGdmkRvpNfML-TL2Y-9XS59vDHsNspdHZqRX6X8_cyoytVJKildfS0iDgA/s1600/IMG_1112.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu9P7pIvU9tl3J_ju09wITUluTUq05A_ZMyDeweWUSZsLYajStVuYes6W-Yarq00odEN8d0A5hDICkYGdmkRvpNfML-TL2Y-9XS59vDHsNspdHZqRX6X8_cyoytVJKildfS0iDgA/s320/IMG_1112.JPG" width="320" /></a>Well deep in my subconscience I knew something was different today. As I cooked the dates recalled in my mind. My mother passed away today a year ago. It was a Wednesday. She was very ill and as I flew overseas to go see her and landed in Spain for transfer is when my brother called to tell me what I already knew.<br />
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"Mom died."<br />
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I looked at the skyview of the airport and wondering if she was there looking at me smiling and trying to hug me while I was there sitting on a chair almost frozen in time.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>I'd like to believe she is still around helping me around, but this world already gave her so much to work for, I think she now needs her real rest in Paradise with Jesus her Lord whom she loved all her life. I rather know she's there with Him and one day we'll meet again in a better place.<br />
I miss my mother a lot, but I guess she knows that wherever she is. I haven't looked at her photo ever since I returned. So I decided to post it today.NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-29128074389955257112010-04-11T15:54:00.001-07:002010-04-11T15:56:15.491-07:00Virtual Assistant NeededEdgEntertainment is a small a production company that is moving toward the film industry. However, along side the business we provide professional photography and video services anywhere in the US - Yes, we can travel. <br />
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We are looking to grow even more and because the jobs are so scarse, our team still has to linger to our regular jobs. Although we post and respond to ads during the morning on the net we still need someone who will secure clients to us during the day. The selected virtual assistant should be proficient in English, both in writing and speaking. You will be dealing with clients and need to be professional. Jobs include posting ads online, responding to ads and negotiating with responders. All Virtual Assistants selected will receive 20% commission on the booking sales made by the assistant. <br />
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To apply you need to send your information and headshot. We will meet personally prior to start working. If you're not in NYC we've schedule a meeting through the internet. You will receive a contract agreement and will be paid with a check. 1099 form will follow at the end of the fiscal year. <br />
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Check us online at <a href="http://www.edgentertainment.net/">www.edgentertainment.net</a>NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-58375495023043231482010-03-27T14:16:00.000-07:002010-03-27T14:39:01.179-07:00Having Nothing To WriteIsn't it annoying when you feel like writing something creative but then when the blank screen opens you don't know where even to start from?<br />
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I feel often that way. It is so hard to convince people to read what we write, even if you're an artist, who'll see your creativity. What happens even if you've post a thosand ads on free posting websites like the annoying <a href="http://www.craigslist.org/">cragislist</a> and it's hundred timer security word typing and phone verification crap? Oh damn, I have a multiple accounts with craigslist, but I can only use the cellphone number once in only in one of them. I have to buy three more phones with different numbers so I can post on the stupid website; oh, yeah, and <a href="http://www.backpage.com/">backpage</a> and it readless customers.<br />
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And of course, then we have the competitors who are often not nice especially to what comes to online marketing - refering to the "flaggers." They're never too happy to see someone progressing.<br />
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This makes me feel like not trying. It's like bouncing a ball against a wall. I hope it collapes soon.<br />
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What can I write about on my blog other than blogging about not blogging? I'm annoyed!NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-91034780554086645942010-01-14T00:15:00.000-08:002010-01-14T00:17:53.935-08:00Still Thinking Of My MomMy mother passed away last May, and I still have the sense that she is still alive. Often times I feel like calling home and just seat there with my cellphone listening to her voice. It troubles me to know that my dad is actually by himself in Portugal, in our little town of <a href="http://images.google.com/images?q=esmoriz%20portugal&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi">Esmoriz</a>. I still expect to hear the phone ringing and hear her voice shouting with enthusiasm: "O MEU FILHO QUERIDO!". But I don't hear that anymore. Where are her sweet words? Where is her attention and caring? Where is her dedication and most of all her prayers? I beleive non of her prayers have been answered, and I know she died too soon so see them all coming true. All I hope is that at least she can see me from up there and if not, that God grants her the news about me, but I hope He omits the bad parts. <br />
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I have hope that one day I'll meet her again. It's a small trip one day we all have to take, and there is no choice other than just let it go. We may not wish it, but it will come for us, so we meet those we love, long gone on the other side.<br />
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I still haven't had the courange to open up her picture I shot in my 2008 trip to Portugal or even look at it up to today. I afraid of crying and feel emotionally sick again. I cried over it all night the day she died. I didn't want it to be a piture. I wanted it to be my physical mother, to hug her, and cuddle beside her like I used to do when I was still a young kid.<br />
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I still blame myslelf for her death. I wonder if I never left home thirteen years ago and stayed with my mom, my brother would have never slept in my room, there would never be argument over dirty sheets, neverthless she would be sick, because I would have encouraged her to take that awfull operation to her intestines and remove the inital polips hanging around there. <br />
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I came to New York and stayed to have a better life but in spite of conquering the blessings that God and this country has to offer, I lost my family, their love and attention.<br />
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I miss my mother a lot. I miss her so much, that even the bad moments are blocked by this dense foggy cloud. I refuse to think about them. They don't matter anymore. She only matters to me. Hoping she is okay, and longing to see her again.<br />
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To my mom with love.NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-8920401659698440382009-11-16T23:37:00.000-08:002009-11-16T23:50:40.101-08:00Visions 2 - New YorkVery simple. In 1998 I just knew that My bishop of the church would tell me to come to New York. From every country in the world that speaks English I just knew New York would be my new home for many years. <br /><br />While in tribulation in Portugal, many times wanted to leave and get a real life. But God kept telling me: "New York, You're going to New York. Hang on." One way I didn't want to leave and leave my parents by myself, in other hand I wanted to serve God, and He kept saying: "I'm going to use you a lot." But deep inside of me, I knew that He would not use me as a pastor for long. He had other plans. <br /><br />In 1999 I was sent to New York just as I was told, and became an assistant pastor. For five years I knew it was not my call. There was something else. I'm not a pastor now. I left in 2004. Got married, and had a vision of a bright colored car and white colored house. I said that to my wife back then. No one believed me. On that same day on Times Square God had told me great things I still can't reveal. But I do have now a bright colored car - A bright silver Nissan Altima. And I'm already looking for a house to park it. I have no money and don't know how I'll get it. He's shown me He doesn't fail with His promises. I know He's working on it. I'm divorced now but I'm feeling something big is just about to happen.NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-16875481904063652752009-11-16T23:23:00.000-08:002009-11-16T23:37:44.568-08:00Vision 1 - Jesus DescendingI was reading my Bible back in 1993 when suddenly my brain shut down to thephysical world. It was as if I was dreaming, but I was awake. I so much in love with Jesus. Christian stuff was all new to me. I wanted to learn and get to know Him personally. Nothing was going to impede that from happening. And when I was still reading in the office of the shoestore I worked for, Jesus descended from Heaven very slouly with flying beings around Him. There clouds of every color, such like a picture around the light There was such a beautiful light composed by colors that are non existent in this world. The colors like light pink, red, green and yellow difused within themselves and had a very bright light and they moved in ray strings. They circulated around Jesus as He descended. He was wearing the beautiful white dress, that was not a dress. It was more like a complete celestial suit with a dark belt around His waist. <br /><br />It felt as if the world disappeared and I was standing on the ground of a high rock, because I could see him at the same level I was while He descended. I wasn't alone, but I couldn't see anyone but me.<br /><br />When He was about to get closer to me my boss called me and that's when I came back to me and I was holding the Bible on Matthew chapter 25. I felt like I was dragged down from a higher place. I felt imcomplete. Up to today, I'm still hoping that God completes it so I can see what happens next.NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-8515816053181404922009-11-16T22:56:00.000-08:002009-11-16T23:23:17.655-08:00VisionsWhat to make of visons that I've been hidding for years? I see them coming and I see them happening. I've asked three gifts. I wanted to heal, so I could make people happy and remove their pain. I wanted to sing so demons would leave disturbed hearts and minds in peace, and it works. I asked to be talked to when He wanted, everyday He does. And I asked to receive visions, because I wanted to warn people and see more than anyone else could see. I'm not Jesus, or Peter, or any other prophet in the Bible. But why me? Trully this site talks about movies and photography. But isn't it about vision as well. God puts images and pictures in my mind and heart, but this film is for real. It's a reality show before it's thought. <br /><br />It is scary not to be able to tell others the bad news, especially when they're about me. I'm not Miss Dubois, and I don't see ghosts either. I can see a realm that is beyond our imagination. Mostly when I'm feeling closer to Him, it's as if I'm walking in the Earth temporarily. I'm about to leave. But I have to come down to my reality and know, that I'm driving, working and gosh, my feet hurt from standing. <br /><br />When I preach on Sundays, I never prepare a sermon. But as soon as my hands leave the keyboard, my mind still wonders how I played without knowing a single note, I go toward the pulpit and my mouth speaks even to myself. God speaks through me to others, and sometimes through me at me. I see hell, I see heaven, I see the rapture, I see the end, I see hope in the future and I see blessings for other's and me.<br /><br />And what I see as part of a warning, can it be avoided? If it's good, how to let it happen? <br /><br />I don't like it when I don't see visions. It's like a senseis missing. It already makes part of me. I don't always dream about them. I'm always awake. I hear His voice saying: "Go, I'll be with you." not because I read it in the Bible. It really resonates within me. Sometimes I feel like Jesus. "Don't touch me, for I have not accended to my father yet." Sometimes I feel so "elevated" that I don't wanna talk or be touched by anyone until the light sinks in. It's another gift everytime I get it. But I'm such a sinner. It makes me feel disgusted with myslelf. But maybe God is just giving an new opportunity. The race is long, and if I stop I can't finish it. These gifts lift me up and it's an armor to overcome my last weakness. I understand it now. I asked Him: "Make mestronger with my weaknesses." So when I fall in them, I'm only getting stronger each time. <br /><br />God, I love what you do to me, and I love what you show me. Thank you.NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-85166760780528428092009-11-06T22:51:00.001-08:002009-11-06T22:51:56.431-08:00CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLICConfessions of a Shopaholic is a thoughtful film good for compulsive buyers. Directed by P.J. Hogan, Writen by Tracey Jackson, Tim Firth, Kayla Alpert, and Produced by our favorite Jerry Bruckheimer (CSI TV series, among many others) and they tell the story of a young woman that since her young life all she wanted was that little credit - the dream of buying without money. But when things begin to fall apart, Isla Fisher as Rebecca Bloomwood, begins to feel the sting of her shopping sprees. When she finds an opportunity to work with handsome Hugh Dancy as Luke Brandon she feels closer to the opportunity to work to her dream magazine. But she faces the challenge of an annoying wanna be sexy long legged French model who thinks she has all that she gets. Bloomwood's debts start to hunt and suffocating her life through a debt collector who stalks bloomwood until she pays every penny - litterally.<br /><br /><br />Fun to watch, entertaining all the time. Good for women to watch, but come on guys, this can be usefull for us as well. We can't stop buying gadgets for our rooms and cars. I think the film was well executed and brough up all the points into the story. What others said to be a cheesy film, i thought it was rather was wondefully done, coloful and filled with feeling. Love cleared the heart of a shopaholic. My favorite line in the film when Bloomwood was trying to buy 73 hot dogs to get change to buy an $175 green scarf, which led to main theme of the story, (The Girl in the Green Scarf) made me think it's true. Brandon pays the $20 for her one hotdog ans she is in shock. "The cost is different from what it is worth. They're two different things."NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-23043620332895873002009-06-15T12:44:00.000-07:002009-06-15T12:45:01.834-07:00Is My Mother Still Around?Is my mother still around?<br />When I was a kid I learned spirits of people wonder around finding rest and a place to stay. When I learned the Biblical way, people die and either go to eternal rest or to hell. It’s not the first time I’ve seen and heard things being moving and they were not even there. We’ve associated these to demons, evil spirits who pretend to be a loved one or just haunt a home to make the residents miserable. <br />I am in the favor that the souls of people do not return to earth once they die. The Bible states that “it is pointed to men to live once and after that judgment.” And Jesus in his parable said to the rich man who saw Lazarus in peace that no one will believe even if God sent a dead person to appear to the living. In other words God will not send the spirit of a dead person to earth to talk to someone. But my question is: how long will it take until the soul goes to the other side either to paradise or to hell?<br />With the last events of my life I’ve been experiencing the weirdest stuff in the past few days. If you read my last blog, my mother died two weeks ago. Even though no one wants to think a loved one is lost in the depths of hell, it could be a possibility, but I know my mother is saved and in peace with God. She was a very holy woman and loved God with all her heart and she avoided sin at all costs. Why he let her die I believe He has his reasons.<br />The night before I buried my mom and cried a lot looking at the computer picture I have of her, and prayed that God would give me one more chance to tell her how much I loved her.<br />When I arrived home after the burial I felt a calm presence, a feeling that someone was still there and looking at me. I thought it to be my mind only. But I walked past my mother’s room three times and the third it was stronger. I grew a fear inside of me because of the unknown. Maybe God granted me the request or maybe I’m just crazy. I held onto my chest the picture frame they used on her casket and I said loud, “Mom I love you, go in peace. I’ll meet you in heaven someday.”<br />After I said that the presence was gone. Was it my mother? It was weird. It felt good though, I felt happy. I recovered faster after that. A man at church, an old brother is Christ and father in faith confirmed with me that usually souls of people wonder around seeing everything that goes around until they are buried and the angels or demons come to pick them up. Of course I can’t rely on one’s stories. After all a witch of Endor in the Bible brought up the spirit of Samuel to tell Saul he was going die next day in Battle. Was it a demon or the actual Prophet Samuel? She was not a woman of God rather than a Satan worshiper.<br />What to believe? <br />For the past few days when I wake up I hear someone breathing like connected to a machine in the room from where I am. When I get there the noise is coming from there but it’s not there. My mom was breathing with oxygen mask the last few days she was alive. Is it that I’m supposed to hear? Maybe she or God wants to give me the opportunity to see what she was going through? <br />My mother couldn’t see, but my family often spoke loud she was going to die. Tears rolled down her face, so I hear from people who loved her to their souls. One day God will make them hear worse in a worse a situation. They will see how that feels. They often told her I was coming and if she wanted to see me. She would say yes, but the last thing she said was, “I’m not going to see him.” And so it was.<br />Today June 15, 2009, as I took a shower my father was at work and I was alone and door shut, I heard a few noises in among the ventilation noise of the bathroom’s ceiling. The shower was feeling relaxing but snapping noises was filling the corridor. I heard like someone saying something in the living room. The TV was on but not loud enough to hear it. That voice was distinct. I took a deep breath and walked naked to the window and looked at the gate which was still locked. When I went to the kitchen to make a sandwich, for my surprise, the front door was opened. I know I literally closed it, but is there something or someone trying to tell me something now? Is my mother still around, or some evil spirit taking advantage of the situation, or perhaps all these things are driving me crazy and I need to move on? Maybe the last two I should believe but I hope to find an answer from God somehow. He knows something I don’t.NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-19477801623111582822009-06-15T09:24:00.000-07:002009-06-15T09:25:36.659-07:00My mother died and senseless family aroundMy mother died but family more concerned with anything else.<br />It is now two weeks since my mother died. I flew from New York to Spain, Madrid only to wait five long hours for the next shuttle plane to Oporto, Portugal. My father sent me $1300 to get an emergency flight to Portugal to see my mother who was dying of an evil spread of tumor roots. Even though she took all tests and treatments the doctors hid from my mother and only told my uncles and aunts she wouldn’t live more than a year or perhaps a little longer. A year ago I traveled back to see her and find her in great health and happiness. We all thought she would make it. We were all in prayers and the pastors with the congregation, but God, I guess he had other plans for her. Ever since she gave her life to God she has been wanting to go to heaven. But she had lots of dreams and had a great desire to live. She fulfilled most of her dreams including buying the brand new car my father now drives and getting her retirement, which was really large to live happy the rest of her life. She’s worked all her entire life to get her benefits and she was unable to enjoy it. <br />I don’t know if God has a greater reward of her sacrifice in life but I do believe she’ll be fine. <br />I received the call from my brother in Spain still expecting at least to look into her eyes and tell her how much I loved her. He said “Do you already know?” <br />“I know what?” My heart already knew she was gone.<br />“Mom died.”<br />I froze entirely. My tears rolled over my face. I looked at the cloudy sky at the airport imagining my mom might be in there somewhere.<br />When I arrived in Portugal and saw my mother already in a casket all yellow and still I exploded in tears hold on to my father. My aunts cried along with me just before I had the strength to kiss everyone. I was angry at everything, at myself for not being there all the time, for her being so yellow because of the medicine she had to take and the crucifix they put in the hands of my mother – something she hated in life when she learned the truth about being a Christian. My father was angry too but we were helpless to have them remove any catholic rituals. We didn’t want to create any conflicts. They wanted to be respected but didn’t want t respect our ideals nevertheless my mom’s, just because she was being buried with my grandmother in her grave of the Catholic Church. Not even a priest had the time to attend the mass but then he resolved to help the helpless family. He was so much in a hurry he did it mechanically. What was the point? My aunt asked if I like the mass, what I thought about it. “It was . . . interesting!” I said.<br />It was the greatest shock of my life. It impacted me to see my mother being lowered to the grave and banged fit into a hole right under the ground.<br />Her sisters screamed of pain and everyone started to cry. But even then, my uncles started to talk with the cemetery men who were burying my mother how the grave needed to be fixed and enlarged. They needed to put walls further back. The casket was still being lowered manually and earth was being thrown on top of it and they were talking about reconstruction!! They could wait until all was done. I wanted to tell them to shut the f..k up really loud! People without respect and no feelings. When they die, I’m gonna talk about reconstruction too! They even had to talk about hole in the ground. It was going to rain that day and water was going to fall inside the grave. What to say about this. What a horrible day in all senses. I cried all night looking at my mother pictures. <br />I love you mom!NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-43392985550701520732009-04-16T22:51:00.001-07:002009-04-16T22:52:56.166-07:00Seeking Interns For My New Production CompanyBe An Intern At Our Production Company And Earn 20%<br />My production company seeks intern 18+ (high school student or college student) to help with general related work. The right person would write well in English and/or Spanish, speak band write both fluently. Any additional language is a plus. Must have a home computer or laptop with internet access enabled. You will be our location in certain times but most of the work can be done at your home as well.<br /><br />We need an energetic, positive attitude, eager learn, and responsible intern. Intern will be responsible for reading emails, answering emails, Make phone calls. Be able to conduct business when CEO is not around, schedule appointments and clients sessions, constantly posting smart and creative ads in several posting website mediums like craigslist and more. The intern will earn at 20% commission on each client booked based of his/her sales as per the rates list on our website. You will be paid with company's checks (accompanied by a 1099 at the end of the year for tax purposes).<br /><br />All interested please submit resume, list of skills, and contact information. We'll schedule an interview at both earliest convenience.NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-80252589855973624822009-01-04T20:22:00.000-08:002009-01-04T20:39:47.145-08:00Rebranding A BusinessIt's been two years ever since <a href="http://www.cornerstonepic.com">CornerStone Pictures</a> was created to help people bring up their dreams in pictures and film. I was able to help quite a few out of shape models who wanted me to make a miracle, others however exceeded my expectations. I'm happy I was able to make it happen to them either way. I was amazed with so much work that I created and helped make with Bob, my partner in Business and film a few scenes from our future feature film "<a href="http://www.fallenfromgracethefilm.com">FALLEN FROM GRACE</a>" with Kendall Williams CEO of Keneritz Media and my roommate who' s been supporting me all this time.<br /><br />I'm happy I created this business, I've learned a lot. I finally came to a point that I realized that my business had to move on with a new dynamic name, different look, different strategies and same purpose - to bring our viewer to the edge of their seats with our stories and make our photography lovers jaw dropped with our pictures.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.edgentertainment.net">EDGENTERTAINMENT</a> will be our new name and we will be here to help you bring your dreams and stories to the screen or photography.<br /><br />For those who knew us as <a href="http://www.cornerstonepic.com">CornerStone Pictures</a> I hope you enjoy our new model of business.NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-34796935704074515562008-09-08T23:07:00.001-07:002008-09-08T23:07:46.740-07:00Lending Money!<span xmlns=''><p>In the past, several people have borrowed thousands of dollars from me. Of course, they never paid me back. The worse one was a couple from the church where I helped as an assistant pastor. Eleven thousand dollars later, my credit with a score of 675 points went down to 550. Suddenly by the time I realized I could not pay all that money back and it went down to 350. My continuous payments brought this number up to 420. However, I had to encounter still a few bastards who would take advantage of me to take from my account the two thousand dollars my mother had sent me to pay the lawyer for my green card application. My wife was nowhere to help me anytime soon. We separated and she threatened of moving away to Florida. I was homeless, and I was promised an office to sleep in which I paid for with the two thousand dollars. Of course it was forbidden that anyone stayed in the office because they were checked every morning and I never saw the money again not to speak about the credit card debts I developed over five long years.<br/><br/>Today my life is completely different. I have a life of my own, a job, I got a green card, I just traveled to Portugal with my own money and I am even saving to buy my first car in New York. Before, I could even think about this. It was a dream I thought would never come true. I had to leave all my illegal friends behind because I had life to go on. I love them a lot, but now I noticed that every time I reach two thousand dollars in my savings account it will always be bellow my mark, not only because I have to pay rent, or utilities, but because now they keep asking me for money. I begin to think they are imagining me as a JORGE VISA credit card company or a CornerStone Bank Account. I know that they will pay, but keep taking money from my bank account hinders me from pursuing my opportunities and financial goals. If an opportunity comes for me to invest my money I worked for in something big, where is it, If not in the other's pockets? Moreover, they are not paying right away.<br/><br/>I understand they are my friends, but they need to understand this is my money and there are reasons why I am saving it, and they are not respecting it.<br/><br/>Yesterday one them even threatened himself to commit suicide if he becomes homeless, if I did not give him 20 dollars. I know he has no job, but it is not my fault. I had to tell him NO, this time. I had to tell him I can't help anymore. I have goals for that money.<br/><br/>I had to swallow my pride when I was illegal and jobless and pursue the massage business and nude photography. I didn't care what I had to go through. I knew what I wanted and I was going to get it – and I still do. I offered my help to this friend and he responds back "Olvidalo" Forget it for Spanish.<br /></p><p>What is this that people now just want to rely on other people's money, and not doing crap to earn a life? I paid bills, expensive rents, I bought two computers, professional video camera, and a professional digital photography camera and much more even before I got my first real job, and I even paid eighteen hundred dollars to get my green card and another fifteen hundred to file for bankruptcy to get rid of over thirty thousand dollars in debts, And I did all this with money of massages and photography. I bought material worth over five thousand dollars without any money or conditions. It had to be God on my side and of course my will power. Where is their will power? I'm not saying I'm the best, but I can proof I am one who survived in New York City. I made it. I know others can too, they all need not to rely on other and find people to push them just like my current roommate who has been on my ass for three years and I too had to heed to everything he'd tell me and guide me even with my stubbornness. I went through the pain and he was willing to go through it with me. Not even once I asked him for money and I own everything I have.</p></span>NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-4606597559472681912008-09-06T13:41:00.000-07:002008-09-06T16:52:46.756-07:00Why Gays Have To Show Their Gayness?In the last weeks have been noticing how gays act in public. I have nothing personal against gays. as matter of fact most of my friends are gay and I have no problem with that. In spite of being a Christian I have to say I cannot judge anyone. But one thing bothers me and like other fellow male friends, we refuse to understand why some have to show their gayness.<br /><br />Some speak overly girly and stress the American accent with the extremely stressed Rs, when they speak they sound like they're singing out of tone, some dress like a girl with fruity colors that not even girls today can wear. They look like they're advertising the <a href="http://www.benetton.com/portal/web/guest/home">United Colors of Benetton</a>. They turn their heads so fast and so perpendicular to their shoulders they look like mannequins, and they sit so stiff they look like a block of cement. The train moving doesn't make a difference to them. They carry handbags on their shoulders and I wonder if they bring make up in there too. (probably do).<br /><br />This week I saw a young guy that dyed his hair so blond he looked like a snow flake. It was shinning at the corner of my eye. And, yes, he was knitting too with a goofy headphone on his "snow head." Suddenly he started to bang his head in circles like an retard and making the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoolander">Zoolander</a> face to his "dance." He thought he was blasting, while other normal boys were staring. Ahh! Of course, so did I.<br /><br />I understand when a guy is gay, but for all effects, they are male with a penis that gets hard and everything. Why over reacting? It's not like some one is going to be hired for a C- movie with poor actors who need help with acting.<br /><br />Today, I saw a "fabulousth" black male who walked fiercely like a cat. I wonder how far gays will go on imitating animal walking, throwing more possible rainbow colors on them, putting sun glasses - sometimes at night - that makes them look like flies, and wear really tight clothes that the only thing we is the the fat bellies and the unshaped body from they legs and arms. Sometime the twinks even wear tank shirt to show off muscle - only in their dream.<br /><br />My eyes gaze as their hair style look like torpedoes or a forest destroyed buy a hurricane.<br /><br />I know I may be wrong on this point of view, but I don't think we need to show off what we are. The others will know, naturally, it is much funnier when others discover us slowly.NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-5435466057918253972008-09-01T23:10:00.000-07:002008-09-01T23:16:22.487-07:00CornerStone Pictures Offer New Deals On Services<a href="http://www.cornerstonepic.com">CornerStone Pictures</a> has come up with new deals on photography and video services. Sheck these out!<br /><h3 class="fw-title"><span style="font-family:Impact;">SERVICES</span> <!-- ParagraphTitleEnd --></h3> <div class="fw-text"><!-- ParagraphBodyStart --><p><span style="font-size:100%;"><b><span style="color: rgb(0, 157, 235);font-family:Helvetica;" >PORTFOLIOS</span></b></span></p><p><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><i><b><span style="font-size:100%;">Package I - $400 </span></b></i></span></p><ul style="list-style-type: disc; list-style-image: none; list-style-position: outside;"><li>Photo shoot with digital or 35mm (72 shots) </li><li>Up to 3 changes</li><li>Photo Retouching</li><li>CD with digital prints or negatives (film only)</li><li>Prints available upon request (extra fees apply)</li></ul><p> </p><p><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><b> <i><span style="font-size:100%;">Package II -$600</span></i></b></span></p> <ul style="list-style-type: disc; list-style-image: none; list-style-position: outside;"><li>Photo shoot with digital or 35mm (96 shots) </li><li>Up to 3 changes</li><li>Photo Retouching</li><li>CD with digital prints or negatives (film only)</li><li>Comp card</li><li>Prints available upon request (extra fees apply) </li></ul><p> </p><p><i><span style=";font-family:Tahoma;font-size:100%;" ><b>PACKAGE III - $800 </b></span></i></p><ul style="list-style-type: disc; list-style-image: none; list-style-position: outside;"><li>Photo shoot with digital or 35mm (120 shots) </li><li>Up to 4 changes</li><li>Photo Retouching</li><li>Comp card</li><li>Stylist</li><li>CD with digital prints or negatives (film only)</li><li>8x9 prints (up to 10 prints of best shot)</li><li>4x6 prints (up to 30 prints of best shots) </li></ul><p> </p><p><i><span style=";font-family:Tahoma;font-size:100%;" ><b>PACKAGE IV - $1000 </b></span></i></p> <ul style="list-style-type: disc; list-style-image: none; list-style-position: outside;"><li>Photo shoot with digital or 35mm (150 shots) </li><li>Up to 4 changes.</li><li>Photo Retouching</li><li>Comp card</li><li>Stylist</li><li>Make-up Artist</li><li>CD with digital prints or negatives (film only)</li><li>8x9 prints (up to 10 prints of best shot)</li><li>4x6 prints (up to 30 prints of best shots) </li><li>Photo proof sheet</li></ul><p> </p><p><span style="color: rgb(0, 157, 235);"><b><span style=";font-family:Helvetica;font-size:100%;" >SINGLE SERVICES</span></b></span></p><ul style="list-style-type: disc; list-style-image: none; list-style-position: outside;"><li>Headshots $150</li><li>Fashion/glamour photography $200 </li><li>Business/Corporate (On site promotional and marketing photos) $300</li><li>Nudes (Artistic) $300</li><li>Nudes (Sensual) $400</li><li><div align="left">Couple shots (Themed) $350</div></li></ul><div align="left">Make-up artist and stylist priced separately</div><div align="left">CD with retouched digital photos included </div><div align="left">Web optimized photos available upon request</div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 157, 235);font-family:Helvetica;font-size:100%;" ><b>EVENTS</b></span></div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><span style=";font-family:Helvetica;font-size:100%;" ><i><b>PHOTOGRAPHY SERVICES </b></i></span></div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><ul style="list-style-type: disc; list-style-image: none; list-style-position: outside;"><li>Birthdays, Anniversaries, Religious Ceremonies - Rates begin at $350</li></ul><div align="left">Includes:</div><div align="left"><ul style="list-style-type: circle; list-style-image: none; list-style-position: outside;"><li>2 hour minimum</li><li>CD with retouched digital photos </li><li>Commemorative album</li></ul><br /></div><ul style="list-style-type: disc; list-style-image: none; list-style-position: outside;"><li>Award Ceremonies, Quinceaneras - Rates begin at $500</li></ul>Includes:<div align="left"><ul style="list-style-type: circle; list-style-image: none; list-style-position: outside;"><li>3 hour minimum</li><li> Digital Photos on a CD </li><li>Commemorative album </li></ul></div><div align="left">8x9 prints are provided upon request at additional fees apply</div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"> </div><ul style="list-style-type: disc; list-style-image: none; list-style-position: outside;"><li>Weddings - Rates begin at $1000</li></ul></div><div align="left">Includes:</div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><ul style="list-style-type: circle; list-style-image: none; list-style-position: outside;"><li>4 hour minimum</li><li>Digital photos</li><li>Commemorative album</li><li>Prints (Available for free on packages above $2000)</li></ul></div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><i><span style=";font-family:Helvetica;font-size:100%;" ><b>VIDEO SERVICES</b></span> </i></div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left">We have a small crew of creative professionals including a filmmaker and director on demand ready to deliver the best quality video of the best moments in your life. </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left">We can make your video look like a home video, a documentary, or like a movie. Whichever your choice is, it's your video. </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left">Our packages start at $1500 </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left">Services include:</div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><ul style="list-style-type: disc; list-style-image: none; list-style-position: outside;"><li>16:9 and 4:9 screen format (Widescreen and full screen)</li><li>60 fps (Regular video), 30 fps (Modern movie style) and 24 fps (Standard film like style) frame rate </li><li>DVD </li><li>Editing</li><li>Conversion</li><li>VHS Transfer (Optional)</li><li>Music addition </li><li>Titles and credits (Optional)</li></ul></div><div align="left"><i>We have our own transportation. If the event takes place outside of New York, additional fees for travel will apply unless you supply your own transportation to the crew. </i></div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><span style=";font-family:Helvetica;font-size:100%;" ><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 157, 235);">OTHER VIDEO SERVICES </span></i></b></span></div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><ul style="list-style-type: disc; list-style-image: none; list-style-position: outside;"><li>Music Videos Starting at $1000</li><li>Artist publicity intro videos $300</li><li>Video Profiles Starting at $200</li></ul></div><div align="left">We can convert your videos into compacted video files for use of the internet. </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 157, 235);"><i><span style=";font-family:Helvetica;font-size:100%;" ><b> </b></span></i></span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 157, 235);"><i><span style=";font-family:Helvetica;font-size:100%;" ><b>SCRIPT COVERAGE AND SCRIPT REVISION</b></span></i></span></div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left">In our efforts to better serve our customers, <a target="_blank" class="fw_link_website" href="http://www.morningsidewriters.com/">Morningside Editorial Services</a> offer:</div><div align="left"><ul style="list-style-type: disc; list-style-image: none; list-style-position: outside;"><li>Detailed Script Coverage/Analysis to help screenwriters and playwrights figure out works and doesn't.</li><li>Page-by-page revisions for busy screenwriters and playwrights without time and energy to accomplish it alone.</li></ul>Contact <a target="_blank" class="fw_link_email" href="mailto:nycurbaneditor@gmail.com">Morningside Editorial Services</a> for information and rates</div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left">A non-refundable 50% deposit is required to request any of our services.<br /><br />It's affordable and anyone can have it.<br /></div></div>NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-25361300299380719132008-08-30T22:26:00.000-07:002008-08-30T23:40:54.529-07:00Bible Study - Book Of Revelation - The Vision Of The Risen Lord<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Read: </span><a style="font-family: verdana;" href="http://bibleresources.bible.com/passagesearchresults.php?passage1=revelation+1&passage2=&passage3=&passage4=&passage5=&version1=49&version2=0&version3=0&version4=0&version5=0&Submit.x=40&Submit.y=8">Revelation chapter 1.</a><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">John was arrested in the Island of Patmos for Preaching the Word of God and of course the love of Jesus for the humanity. After all He gave Himself on the cross for all of us, so we wouldn't perish.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">John was old and his eyes were probably tired. I imagine how painful it was living in the Island of Patmos without a way out to nowhere. That island was like the Albatross of the 20th century. It was a place of torment and hard work for great criminals. This place is today a touristic location and is visited bt thousands of people every year. But those who go there, need to remember that it was there that Jesus Christ took John in Spirit into the Revelation of the future of this world. And there he would show all the things that were to come upon the world.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">The fact that Chapter 1 of Revelation describes that Jesus wore white hair like wool and a garment that looks like that of a captain, leads me to believe that He wanted to tell John, that it was time for Him to come and judge the world. Judges in the courts today and in old times wore white wigs on their heads to force authority on the throne and garments they wear bring the center of the attention of the people and the individual to be judged and they know - that is the judge.<br /><br />Jesus said he was the the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. He was the one who started everything, and He will be the one who will end it. <a href="http://tinyurl.com/5za4xp">(John 1:1-10)</a><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">When we look at the kind of description the Bible, or better saying - John, we understand that what he saw was the Lord Jesus as the Lord of Lords, the Judge of this world. The time was come to end all things and begin the trial. This is the beginning of the book of Revelation and this is what Jesus intends to tell the nation of the world - "It's over. I've defended you, I've died for you, I healed you and blessed you. Now I'm here to judge you."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">John never died because of persecution, rather he died a natural death. God had chosen him for this purpose. He would decode what Prophets like Daniel, Jeremiah, Ezekiel and many others also saw.<br /><br />Next Blog: Revelation Chapter 2 Church to Ephesus.<br /></span></span>NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-76481189543065821862008-08-29T22:20:00.000-07:002008-08-30T23:21:11.346-07:00Bible Study - The Book of Revelation<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Is this world coming to an end this week, next month, or in two years? There have been many people throughout history that have attempted to predict the end of the world, and all have come up short.<br /><br />The answers we seek have been recorded in the bible for hundreds of years, so there's no need to rely on fortune tellers, astrologers, or philosophers.<br /><br />The Book of Revelation is the unmistakable source for all those who seek the biblical truth.<br /><br /><br /></span></span>NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-9693977392705606452008-08-27T22:12:00.000-07:002008-08-30T23:22:50.688-07:00Thematic Writing Days<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Dear Readers,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">Over the next few weeks, I will begin blogging on various themes and/or topics that are of interest to me, and hopefully to you as well.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">My goal is to establish and build an audience as varied as Christians, artists, photographers, and those with dreams of writing and producing videos and films.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">This interactive approach will provide an opportunity to share my beliefs, learn from you, and in turn help guide each other along our destined paths in life.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">I will initially blog on Saturday (Bible study, Christian news and views), Wednesday (Media news and Freelance tips), and Thursday (local and world news).</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">Feel free to post comments, ask questions, and challenge my views. I look forward to this shared journey.</span></span>NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-57787447300346398232008-06-21T20:18:00.000-07:002008-06-21T20:56:02.126-07:00Post-CircumcisionI hesitated today from posting a new blog. I even tried to start a secret diary, but then I erased it. What's is the point? Talking to a notebook. Instead, I'm talking to the internet.<br />So, here I am recovering from my circumcision from 3 days ago. I waited 4 hours hungry for the hospital to call my name. As soon as I was called I had an interview with the anesthesiologist and then of course the doctor - Stephen Teitelbaum. Them and two other nurses would spend the next hour on my crotch to make my penis look more like one. When I arrived to the table or operation they connected me to wires and injected the water into my vains.<br />"Where are you from?" They asked.<br />They put the oxygen mask on me. I thought I was going to resist.<br />"Portugal." I answered.<br />"Where in Portugal?<br />At this point I was already breathing through the mask.<br />"Porto."<br />"Where is Porto?"<br />I woke up in the recovery room. I felt like I died and came back. I saw the doctor asking. "How are you?"<br />"I'm fine. Thank you."<br />"You're welcome." He said.<br />My wife was there in pain with me, waiting patiently for my recovery. She helped me dress and came home with me where I live with my roommate. She really wanted to take care of me, but it wasn't a very good idea, since we're in the process of divorce.<br />I didn't eat anything besides a muffin at the hospital on that day, until my roommate prepared me one of his delicious tuna fish sandwiches. I cooked the next day so I could get a heavy meal and couldn't take a shower because I was afraid that would infect the wounds. My penis was so tight I could hardly pee. After calling the nurse and waiting for a response on what to do, finally the doctor told me to remove the bandage.<br />Goodness, my penis looks more like an old man's or a potato, it looks like a huge insect. It hurts a lot especially in the head because they put a stitch through the passage where the sperm comes out. No wonder they say no sex for 4 to 6 weeks.<br />I was able to go outside today to buy my milk for my protein shake and medicine. The "FRACKING" stores didn't have medicated bandages. Fine!<br />After I cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom floor today, I sat at the bed trying to right my new novel, and my penis suddenly started to bleed. The blood was dripping on my foot. They say I'm going to have a normal penis again, but like this, I'm wondering. I want to go to the church tomorrow and I'm wondering if I'll be able to even to put on some underwear. The stitches get stuck on everything I put on. I have to walk around the house naked all the time. That's the only way I don't get it hurt.<br />I need to recover soon. Pray for me those who can. I'm resting another day before I head to work on Monday.NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-62322320801401532212008-06-06T22:24:00.000-07:002008-06-06T22:51:05.180-07:00CircumcisionIt was decided that on the 18th of June this year, I'm going to submit myself to surgery to remove my 3 inch foreskin that covers the top of my penis. It's been a hassle during sex, feel myself clean, and overcome the certain smells it emanates through my clothes during a summer day. No more!<br /><br />I know that by the law of God, the Jews were commanded that all male babies and grown men to submit themselves to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circumcision">circumcision</a> as a sign of the covenant with God. Besides, unfortunately, it was by this way <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Hitler">Hitler</a> and his soldiers identified the males by being Jews. That's why they stripped all them to make sure. Many non Jews were killed because many had the medical need of removing this excessive skin.<br /><br />I've always known my ancestors were Jews, but it's not because of them I'm doing this. I'm scared. Never been under the knife, and what guy out there will allow his penis go under the knife?<br />I expect to be put to sleep during the procedure, and when I wake up I want to be a new man. I bet I will look better. My next step is to put on some weight and muscle mass on me. I will LOOK GOOD NAKED. This is going to be my next video documentary about my workout development.<br /><br />As for now, GOOD BYE Foreskin!NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-86792296341835617832008-05-04T22:10:00.000-07:002008-12-10T05:49:22.404-08:00Health Insurance In The U.S.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.michaelmoore.com/sicko/dvd/"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB2vnZBX_OSi0_NgVG9oxq63OeYxKt9AzjZYNp45itlPhmaxa5j5q9jZwVWkwbUyouQCOGYQi6OHgRu8GfY5HVZOY5JCsocMuBJSeDGrCJGAU9rUHnWcus1qQwaa6vTcC9i2x7Tg/s320/sicko.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5196764360349951426" border="0" /></a><br />Today I watched <a href="http://www.michaelmoore.com/sicko/dvd/extras.html">Sicko</a> by <a href="http://www.michaelmoore.com/">Michael Moore</a>, and I was shocked by the things he reveals in this movie. Although I already knew how hard it is for a person to get health insurance, I never realized how bad it really was .<br /><br />I was born in Portugal in a hospital out of town in a city caller Espinho, which translated to english means THORN. It is a great city don't take me wrong, but there, there are only two classes of people - the rich and the poor, really poor. The middle class is so poor that is conjoined with the poor class. Yet one day I asked my mother, how much she paid when I was born in 1975. She said: "I never paid anything. I was ready to leave after three days, I walked out."<br /><br />It is interesting to say that this is still the policy for health care in Portugal. Just last week my mother spent two weeks in the hospital being treated for chemotherapy for two tumors she was dignosed four weeks ago. My mother walked out of the hospital last week, thank God she can already lift her left arm that was afected by one of the tumors and she is feeling much better. How much she paid, I aksed. She said it's the government who pays. Nothing came out of her pocket.<br /><br />What I also don't understant is why the US being the richest country in the world, full of recourses, great practitioners, and technology, can't help its own people who pay taxes , SSI and Medicaire, deducted from their pay check every one or two weeks when they get paid, but they never get to use any of it. Most of Americans will die before they even use their retirement plans, if there is one, because they are denied medical attention.<br /><br />The last itme I went to the hospital for a twisted foot, the doctor spent five minutes looking at my foot and asked the nurse to wrap my foot with a gause and gave me a cane and cream to help me walk. The following week, the bill arrived to the mail box. A $516.00 bill. $516 dollars for looking at my foot for five minutes . . . I could have done that myself - for free. I never cared to pay for that bill. It was a nonesense.<br /><br />My problem was very simple, but I think of all those americans and non american who live in this country, work hard to keep it going, get hurt to keep its system going, but the system can't make them keep going. Health Insurance in America is a need, but those in power, make it a business. In Portugal we don't have medical insurance. I didn't even know what the heck that was when I came to this country nine years ago.<br /><br />God forbid that I get sick and can't afford to be treated in this rich country. I rather pay a $1000.00 in a plane trip to Portugal and get treated for free, than to be slapped with a $200.000.00 bill for spending a week in the recovering room of the hospital and cared by expensive practitioners. This is why, America is in the 35th place of health insurance rank as of 2007 and I don't think it's going to get better. The government rather spend their millions in a stupid war, fighting terrorism in the wrong country.<br /><br />I have to give Michael Moore an A+ on his movie SICKO, for revealing this truth about America. As an European, I'm scared. I'm considering moving into a country where I don't have to worry about healthcare, expensive rent and food price rises. May God have mercy on us.NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-79567311682416771162008-05-04T00:26:00.001-07:002008-05-04T00:28:15.268-07:00It's Nothin'<object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OhqiyYXNC9k&hl=en"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OhqiyYXNC9k&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></embed></object>NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-65551467770175674822008-04-20T22:25:00.000-07:002008-04-20T23:02:29.065-07:00Relationships and HardshipsI wish I could know what a relationship is supposed to be. Can anyone even explain it? Can we actually speak of beautiful and perfect relationships? I can say, I have an amazing relationship with my mother. I can't say same thing of my father, but I still love him - a lot.<br /><br />But outside of family what the hell is it? Is it miscommunication between friends, or a disagreement between husband and wife? Or maybe just boyfriends arguing with each other! That's all I've always known of it to be . . . I wish I could really speak or write for that matter of what I feel about it. But still who cares? Who even cares to know what I even write in here. The only person who reads this is my roommate. I'm his shadow at home, outside, everywhere we go. He makes sure I have everything in place, including this blow sucking English. I need to thank him for all his support. I can't stress that enough.<br /><br />The only relationship I still can count on is the one with God. I know He'll never fail. My only concern is for me not to screw up with Him, and that's one less problem to deal with on His faithfulness.<br /><br />I hear many people talking about on believing in themselves, be self centered, self esteemed, and this will cause to bring power unto you. The only part I agree is that we really must love ourselves, take care of ourselves, give yourself be best treatment. But once we become self centered and feel too powerful, that will bring us down and destroy relationships. I've tried that. It doesn't work. I can't do it all, no, not by myself. I'm not God, Superman, or Batman.<br /><br />But then . . . relationships. How long do they last? Does it depend on us? Do we have to be alike so we can fit a a marriage? Perhaps, adjust, learn how to live with the habits of that person. But how do you get it going, when you want to pull to the right and the other to left. One will fall, and when that happens, that's it.<br /><br />I've had a girlfriend who only lasted two weeks, because she was too controlling.<br /><br />The second girlfriend, I left her because she was to picky and exygent.<br /><br />The third, I even married, but her mind was too closed to understand our living circumstances and I couldn't offer everything she wanted. She left me 5 times in the space of two years.<br /><br />Was I too hard to handle? Because I watched movies, or TV? She expected me to pick her up at the train station on a rainy day. Her father did. She counted on me. She expected me to do it. Was I so wrong of not thinking of that? I didn't even have a car.<br /><br />I tried to fix it and put ban days, but the damage was there already.<br /><br />My fourth relationship I can't even say of it, or what to call it.<br /><br />I wish I could make the world understand me. I wish I could let people enter in my mind and see, who I really am. To see the things unspoken, that I can't speak of.<br /><br />I avoid the talk. It raises questions. Questions demand an answer, and the answer, if it's wrong will make us pay for it. Is saying no all the time really the solution? Or is it best keep saying yes and continue life as it is? I rather not say, and let God lead the way. He gave me His Spirit. It's like the wind that blows and we don't know where it comes from and where it goes. I'm letting the Spirit take me wherever He wants me to be.<br /><br />I hope He'll bless me with the right relationships and perhaps fix the current ones and make them stronger, because . . . I'm letting it go into His mighty hands.NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-75431989753996467012008-04-11T22:06:00.000-07:002008-04-11T22:49:26.297-07:00My First Miracle Performed In New YorkMany people ask if miracles are still possible. If there are men who actually perform incredible things before the eyes of people. I know I have during my time as an Assistant Pastor. God knows how much I miss seeing people relieved from their pain, see the smile of a lady who fought for years to buy a house and bringing a testimony saying she bought it when I prophesied it to her.<br /><br />It was in 1999, and as I walked down Fulton Street in Brooklyn back to the church coming from the supermarket, I saw this man struggling with his white car. It was a very old one. A white Oldsmobile I think. The man, a forty something years old with mustache, has his sleeve rolled up, the hood popped up and hands dirty from trying to make his car start. I walked by and I looked. I didn't want to stop, but it must have been God who told me, "Look, put me to test. Let me show you I am with you." I knew, the name and the honor of God can never be frustrated and I thought back to Him, "What do I have to lose? If You embarrass me, You'll be too."<br /><br />I walked back to the car and I asked, "What's going on with the car?"<br />The tired man answered, "I really don't know. I'm here trying to start it for over an hour and I don't know what to do anymore."<br /><br />When power rises in my heart I cry. I knew that was the time.<br /><br />"Sir, do you believe in God? Do you believe He can make it work." I asked.<br />I knew the doubt in his heart was stronger than any belief. But I was believing for him?<br />"I think so." He said.<br />I laid my hands on the wet car from the rain pouring upon us. I said, "Lord in the name of Jesus, if there is any demon or any evil kind in this car remove it and destroy it. Touch this car, and with your mighty power make it work. Let your name be glorified, I pray, and I command all evil to GET OUT in Jesus name. Amen." I flanged my hand out as if expelling something with my hands.<br /><br />I didn't know what the heck I was doing exactly. I've prayed for people to be healed, but for cars to be fixed was new to me. But God knew what He was doing.<br /><br />I told him to start the car. He said, "okay" like a singing doubt.<br /><br />What if the car didn't start? But because God is great, He never fails those who proclaim His name.<br /><br />The man turned the ignition. The engine didn't even drag. The engine started immediately as if there never was a problem. The man was speechless.<br /><br />"I. . . I, don't know how you . . . I'm surprised. It was dead!"<br />"Thank to the Lord Jesus. He was the One who blessed you.<br /><br />I walked back to the church and I forgot this episode until today, 9 years later. I know He wants to use me. I'm not gonna say no to Him anymore. I'm just make it happen for Him. I know He'll make it happen for me as well.<br /><br />May God bless us all.NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14581504.post-64441381334005077962008-03-05T20:56:00.002-08:002009-04-16T22:50:50.189-07:00Fallen From Grace Fundraising Drive<iframe src="http://www.indiegogo.com/project/widget/234?tagline_len=62&account=530&title_len=18" scrolling="no" width="300" frameborder="0" height="235"></iframe>NY Photographer and Filmmakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02387687064008552545noreply@blogger.com0